I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
