And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize