do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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