I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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