Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
