You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I didn't notice because vodka
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize