i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
