Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize