Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Church boner. Awkwardddd
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize