Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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