I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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