would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
