There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
