I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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