she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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