careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
