Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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