9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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