She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize