There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There r osticjed everywhere
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
