Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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