dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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