his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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