i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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