im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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