I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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