And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
