Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
