Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
