Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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