You really coming over, don't trick.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
