called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
