Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
