Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
