No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize