WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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