he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
