Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
