When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We left an ass print on the piano.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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