I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
