I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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