Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
