We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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