His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
