ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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