Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
