how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
