I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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