We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to make out with him forever
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
