i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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