is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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