Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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