My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
