I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
