So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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