I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
