i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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