Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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