Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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