Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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