Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Randomize
