At least make sure they are 18
Why
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
