So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
