just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We left the knife in your bed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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